30 DoB 2: The Storm

So I've been writing a paper for the last few hours, only interspersed with playing my clarinet at a local school's choir performance, and my eyes feel like they're about to be burnt right out of my skull, so I'm going to keep this brief. But man. Yesterday was pretty stinkin' crazy.

So I teach an after-school band program for beginners. It was started because beginning band was cut in the local elementary schools and a wealthy man really wanted to preserve them, so his corporation personally paid all the teachers and bought all the materials necessary, and the students could participate for a very low cost, and if they couldn't afford that, they received needs-based scholarship. Anyway, I've been teaching clarinet for them this semester, but the head honcho (my cooperating teacher for student teaching) was visiting his daughter yesterday, so I was put in charge since I knew best how he would run things.

The band room is set up such that I was the only one facing the only window in the entire room. This was a big plus, for reasons I am about to explain. At about 5:00 (the program ends at 5:15) I saw the sky turn a very interesting shade of green and the trees all bent directly facing the window. This was a huge red flag... anyone from the Midwest can tell you that green skies are a sign of bad things to come. When the time came to release the students, the lights flickered and they all turn and go "Oh no, will the power go out?" and I said "No, of course not! The school has emergency generators."

Boy was I wrong.

Not ten seconds later, the room goes completely pitch black. Fortunately by this point, most of the students were already out being received by parents. When I looked through the band room door, there was dirt, dust, and debris flying straight down the hallway and all of the children looked... bewildered, to put it kindly. The only thing I could do was to trust that the parents would have it under control... as I am incapable of driving, I couldn't offer a ride home or anything.

I rode home with a friend from Hawaii who had never driven in heavy wind, and he was worried about his car being unfit to drive. I assured him that the bigger problem would be the flash floods that seemed to be occurring (way to go, me--always giving confidence), but neither of us expected the havoc it would wreak on the trees. There were trees downed everywhere. There were three in a row, in fact, right in front of my house, which were not cleared until about 3:00 this afternoon, if that tells you about the response they had to get. I felt like I was in the movie Twister with my friend dodging all the fallen trees and barely able to see the road. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to drive... but we're impulsive college boys so you can't really be surprised.

When I arrived home, the power was out and I didn't know what to do... I couldn't see well enough to read because it was already the evening and the cloud cover was immense, and I couldn't do anything else I would normally do while bored, because those all involve electronics. I ended up calling my mother because we had talked about calling on Skype and it looked like that wasn't going to happen in the near future.

When that call was over, I realized how hungry I was, and how I had nothing to eat because I had only just gone to the grocery store and everything would involve some level of cooking. So I called another friend who said she was starving, and we decided to go out to dinner together. The storm had calmed down significantly, so it was more just inconvenient than dangerous to have to leave the house to get food. I did have to tell her to come up my street the back way to avoid the tree, which was fun.

In any case, when we were driving around, we saw that block after block was out of power and every single restaurant's employees were standing around outside, wondering what to do. This was bad sign number 2. Bad sign number 3 was that even the stoplights, which usually blink during losses of power, were completely off. The only, and I mean only place that we saw in town with power was Taco Bell. Decision made.

Unfortunately, it seemed that many in town had the same idea, and there was a 20-minute wait for orders. Bad news bears. It was fine, though, because it wasn't like we had anywhere to go. We were just starving. So we ate and complained about the stuff that we were incapable of doing (most of which involved coursework we didn't want to do anyway) and ate and went back home, and the power was still out.

So I sat down on my bedroom floor and called Raquel and we talked for a while and I got the grand idea to organize my footlocker while the sun was up. It was like 8:30. I didn't have much time to work, and to make a long story short, it looked like the storm took place inside my room rather than outside my room. I had to give up because of the light, so I just opened all my windows and went to bed.

Unfortunately, my room is still messy because the project I couldn't do yesterday had to be done in its entirety today. I. Don't. Want. To. Clean.

But I only have three minutes until my bedtime so I gotta go!

_____________

Sleep: X

Blogging: X

Homework: X

Reading: O (so far...)

30 DoB 1: A Rush of Awesome

Yesterday, I uploaded a video about how I want people to watch my videos. I was uncertain how people would react; I said a lot of things that people don't really address because it feels awkward and they don't know how to say it without coming across as egotistical. I guess I've gotten used to just putting my thoughts out there and so I've learned to repress any kind of hesitation I may have. I was, quite honestly, considering just not uploading it at all for fear of someone leaving a comment saying "You talk about stuff like this too much" or "You shouldn't ask anything of us; we're not a legion of thoughtless followers."

Boy am I glad I uploaded it.

It seemed to resonate with both content creators and viewers. I had great testimonies of people who were glad they do what I said; I had people who said they don't often participate but want to do so more now because of the video; I had people who doubted that I recognized their screennames and who asked whether I did - and I did! I also got a HUGE--and I mean, probably the biggest I've had in a while--influx of subscribers, too, which doesn't matter on the one hand because the numbers themselves are unimportant, but means so much in relation to this video because it means that people agreed and followed through.

I got lovely comments and I'm so glad I currently have the time to reply to them because I would feel terrible to say all that I said and not hold up my end of the bargain.

So, basically, what I'm saying is that I want to keep making videos because of moments like this when I feel validated as a YouTuber. And I think that it also tells me that it's a good choice to stick around - if all it takes is a good comment for me to feel like this work is worth it, I'm going to lead a pretty fulfilled YouTube career, I'd say.

And I guess all that's left to say is thank you guys for being around, for finding me, for sharing bits of your time with me, and for just generally being awesome yourselves. I hope to be able to meet you and thank you all in person because it just means that much to me to have you there for me.

_______________

So Day 1 of the project and I've already got a fail. I was doing homework until 11:05, and by doing homework I mean I read my textbook for about half an hour and then got distracted writing stuff for the re-vamped Music for Muggles. Wait, what? Shhh don't tell anyone. It can be our blogging secret. But yeah... Music for Muggles is coming back this summer and hopefully with a vengeance. So watch out for that. Anyway, after I finished "doing homework," I couldn't resist reading all the awesome comments on my video and ended up being on my computer until like 11:50, thus missing my bedtime by over an hour when all was said and done. But I'm still recording the fail on my calendar because I don't want something silly like that to cause me to go into an endless cycle of false starts. So here are my results for today, with a reminder that "sleeping" happened yesterday and "homework" and "reading" are still open for today:

Sleeping: O

Blogging: X

Homework: O

Reading: O

30 Days of Blogging Returns!

Yesterday I did nothing. And when I mean "I did nothing," I mean I have reached an all-time low of how little I can accomplish. It took me nearly two hours to finally decide to get out of bed after waking up, and once I did, I ate ONE MEAL and played The Sims for about ten hours straight and then realized it was rather late and ate dinner and then sat on my computer some more.

This is not okay with me. It seems that I must re-instate the 30 Days Of projects again. Which I'm okay with.

Those of you who were around last year probably remember how it goes. I will blog for 30 days, and every day I will end the blog with the shorthand name for my projects and put an X if I finished the goal and an O if I did not or if it is not YET done. I will update blogs if that changes later.

My current projects are as follows:

1. Bedtime rule REINSTATED. I shall end all technological endeavors in time to be in bed, asleep by 11:00 PM EST . There will be room for exception if I am with IRL friends, but if that is the case, I shall begin taking precautions around midnight to be in bed, asleep no later than 1:00 AM. However, I shall never wake up later than 7:00 AM.

2. I will blog for 30 days, marking my progress as I go.

3. This will not last 30 days, but I will need to dedicate time (preferably one to two hours) every day to my post-student-teaching seminar class so that I end my college career on a good note. I have three weeks left, so I will not make a numberless calendar for it, but I will make time every day for it.

4. I will read for pleasure every day for at least one hour.

______

I do not want to load up on projects this early in the game for fear of overwhelming myself, so this is where I will stop and I will re-evaluate my progress and projects in one weeks' time. I think Sunday is a good day for evaluating and adding projects.

This will be a good 30 days.

______

Today's records will not count because I started the project today, but for those of you who were not around last year, I will give you an example of what today's blog footer would look like:

Sleep: O

Blogging: X

Coursework: O

Reading: O

Lord, Save Us From Your Followers

I'm kind of afraid to post this blog because I know no matter what I say, I'm going to get some flak, but as this is kind of the most private and most personal method of communication I have with the internet, I figure I should take the opportunity and say something.

I've just recently watched the documentary called "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers," and it really touched me. It kind of put into words the thoughts and emotions I've been dealing with regarding my own religion in recent years.

I guess this would be the time to tell you "my story" as far as religion goes. I think I had a pretty normal upbringing in Northern Virginia; I spent the first twelve years of my life within 45 minutes of Washington, D.C., which is why no one can tell where my accent is from, because it's kind of from everywhere America. I was baptized and raised Catholic. When we moved from Virginia to Tennessee, it was my religion that got me to meet most of my friends--to be honest, that was how you really met most people in that area.

Religion was a very open topic, as long as you were Christian, and often as long as you were Protestant. I don't mean this in any sort of bitter or dramatic way, but I was certainly challenged for my faith. As a member of a minority religion in the area (I know; it's Tennessee, believe me. Catholicism is a minority) I lost friends who adamantly felt that I was wrong and needed to change my sinful ways.

I wept openly when John Paul II died; he was an amazing man and I thought he was bringing the church into the 21st century in many (not all) of the right ways. I was also singled out in my health class--by the teacher, mind you-- to explain why he was left pretty much as-is for a very long time (the short version is that if he didn't decay it would be a miracle they would tick off in canonizing him).

But it wasn't all bad in Tennessee; in fact, there was a lot of good. I had a lot of deep spiritual epiphanies, most of which I am generally only willing to share with close friends I trust not to judge me, so please forgive me for leaving it at that. However, sometimes I think it's better that way; I don't want anyone to think that my story is "the way" to be Christian. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

In my junior year of high school, we moved to Florida, which had a very different religious culture. I remember being physically uncomfortable with some of the changes in the celebration of the mass--our church in Tennessee was rather conservative, and this church was quite liberal--but I came to love and cherish the differences. It's always a challenge to adjust to change, but I would argue that one benefits in the end from accepting it. I love my church in Florida and love returning to it when I am home. In any case, it was there that I was confirmed and took Saint George the Dragon-Slayer as my patron, not so much because of his being a dragon-slayer, but because of his patronage. He's the patron of the Boy Scouts and of the military, and I felt his story very compelling--it was full of calls to action, rather than idleness.

When I came to Indiana University, however, I pretty much stopped going to church altogether, and I couldn't quite find the impetus. Sure, it was partially laziness. Sunday was the only day I ever got to sleep in. The college ministry was very far away from where I lived on-campus. It was partially due to the fact that the church closer to me had choices in music that were very easy for me to snub. But there was something deeper than that. Something that really just didn't sit right with me in my religion, and in religion in general.

And I think Lord, Save Us From Your Followers hit the nail right on the head. I've started to feel this sense that people who are religious have to judge each other and feel this compulsion to be right rather than to be Christian. Part of that was my experience, of course--being told that I was a heathen for being excited to see the bishop, being told that I wouldn't go to heaven unless I was saved in this religion or baptized in that religion. Part of it was my upbringing--my parents have always made it clear to me that what they care about is that I take care of myself and that I take care of others, and that as long as I do this I will be right in God's book. Part of it is the media--it seems like every news company has to put a spin on it now in order to be legitimate. That's just not okay with me.

So I haven't been to church in years, but all this time, I think I've been doing God's work. I always make it a point to stop and help others, to show basic courtesy, to stick out my neck for my friends. I wish I had done more of course (gotta love the Catholic guilt) but I can't say that I've done nothing.

But this movie... it really hit it home for me. I've honestly been wanting to go back to church for a while and kind of just dreading who I would see there, hoping it wouldn't be boring, letting my imagination run wild and convince me not to go. But seeing the host--I can't remember his name--being religious, but being apologetic for everyone; turning the other cheek, as it were. I just was so moved by it because that's the kind of person I think I've been wanting to be. That's the kind of person I've been trying to be. Someone who can be religious, but someone who truly follows what Jesus and the Bible say. From a moral standpoint, that is. Someone who doesn't judge, someone who loves all unconditionally, someone who would give you their watch when you ask them what time it is. Someone who listens to everything and processes it. It calls to mind my favorite prayer, the Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Productivity (Taking My Own Advice)

So a while back I made a video about being productive. You can see it here if you're interested. In any case, I've been feeling really "blah" this weekend and it's exactly what I needed to hear.

I've got a big pile of clothes that is really three sub-piles of clothes: one needs to be ironed, one needs to be cleaned, and one needs to be just put away... and probably ironed first at this point. I am going to go attack that as soon as I finish this blog. The best thing is that I can watch a movie or something while I iron, so it's only half-work. That doesn't count as multi-tasking in my book because I won't care if I follow what's happening in the movie!

I have some paperwork to do for what I want to do next year. Mostly, this involves e-mailing people I'm supposed to be in contact with... I've been a little un-responsive recently and I feel guilty about it. I shouldn't feel guilty, of course; if my body is telling me that what it needs the least is to talk to these people, it's probably right. This was not pure laziness--it was stress telling me to take a break. But regardless, I will e-mail them once I get some clothes going.

I have to talk to some people about summer jobs I applied for. I meant to do that today and now it'll be after business hours so I'd get a manager but probably not a hiring manager. I have to put it on my list of stuff to do tomorrow.

I took on a reading challenge earlier in the semester and I'm pretty far behind on it... I got really far ahead over spring break and lost the time to read afterward; now that I have it back, I ought to read some. I bet that's not going to happen tonight except just before I go to bed, but it's a step.

Speaking of bed, I need to reinstate my bedtime routine. It helps a lot and I've gotten out of the habit and it's not helping my stress at all. Hopefully this routine of blogging will do some good in that regard.

So I think I've got my evening organized! Laundry--e-mails--write list for tomorrow--laundry. For tomorrow, class and contact employers. Oh! That's my list for tomorrow. Already out of order! Dang it. Well, I have to be flexible. That's the key to any success.

And with that I think I'll be off, rather than procrastinating by writing a bunch of more stuff you probably wouldn't care to read anyway ;)

Hope you guys can have as effective an evening as I am about to have, even if that means relaxing! If that's what you need, do it.

BAWLODIS (Blog A Whole Lot Of Days In Summer)

Hey! So someone recently posted a comment to my YouTube profile saying, "Why doesn't your blog exist?" and I thought to myself, You know what? I've been meaning to tend to that.

And then I remembered what wonderful good blogging did for me last summer when I did it every day for two months straight. I'm not sure I want to commit entirely to that again... of course, things could change in the next few days. That's what I love about this being my blog, though. If I change my mind... it's all on me.

In any case, the next great thing about blogging is that it gives me a chance to be a lot more personal. Most of my vlogs have at least some sort of point and are very rarely just life-updates, and I really liked being able to bring that part of my life to the internet through my blog. There will be a lot of changes to my life this summer, and I'm looking forward to being able to share them; unfortunately, very little is set in stone and I don't want to announce anything until I'm certain, so forgive me if I tend to dance around certain points. I am only withholding information because I take care not to tell you untruths.

So basically, this is going to be the beginning of my summer blogging project again. Probably my first goal will be to re-commit to exercise... maybe with more time promised to me in the future I will be able to commit to it. I mean, I have been walking for a very long time and distance every day this semester and now that student teaching is almost over I'll need to keep it up or I will probably slay someone.

I guess I'll end this blog by saying that the biggest benefit is that I get to post these without lots of editing or drafting and re-drafting. I like having a place where I can do that. Ha.

We need to talk.

I'm a little upset right now, but I am going to try to be as level-headed as possible in writing this.

There are a few people complaining in my video comments about the legitimacy of the gold medalist for this week's fizzylimpics awards. This gets under my skin for a few reasons, the first of which is that at the end of the day, this competition doesn't matter. At the end of the day, what does a shout-out from a little guy with 3800 subscribers, most of whom don't even watch his videos, and the remainder of whom generally watch with passivity, actually mean, in the grand scheme of things? The award for winning was a shout-out from me. That is the same award that the silver gets, the same that the bronze gets, the same as half the people who didn't even win get. It's not like I'm giving money to people who don't deserve it. The only people getting anything physical are the people who entered all four competitions--not even the gold medalists get that.

I also know every video that broke the rules. To be honest, it was a significant chunk of the entries. I am as big of a rule-monger as anyone in a lot of things, and it was quite tempting to disqualify everyone who broke the rules and give a sarcastic "sorry." However, I reminded myself that my goal, my only goal in this competition, was to share good content and provide a venue with which to do so. That's why I would give a medal to someone who uploaded it a month before the competition, or to singers who did covers, or to videos that went over four minutes, or to people who sent theirs in after the due date, just to name a few. They made good content and deserved to have it shared.

I also don't think people realize how much time and effort I put into this competition. I had to stay up late several nights finding judges, giving them spreadsheets to judge with, compiling the list of videos to send them, and then compiling their answers and trying to come up with a gold from there. I could have spent my time doing lots of other things--things way more important to my life--but I thought someone needed to share this content. That makes comments calling me out extra-painful; it just seems ungrateful to me to say that with all this work, all this effort to be friendly and forgiving, someone would have the audacity to compare me to a corrupt politician.

All I really wanted to create was a light and friendly competition. I hope that we can keep it that way.